


The Adventures of Peter Parker: Wakanda Edition

by borkybarnes



Series: The Adventures of Peter Parker [1]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort fic bc I'm sad after Infinity War, Copious amounts of quips, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Dad, Okoye is a savage, Peter in Wakanda, Peter is roasted, Peter meets Shuri, Platonic Peter and Shuri, Prank Wars, Quipping, Shuri is a savage, Shuri's lab is where it's at, T'Challa is a savage, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Unknown enemies - Freeform, all the avengers are savages, and peter is the victim of this savagery, cool tech, dad tony, help the avengers, honestly its all shuri t'challa and peter pranking and the avengers just being victims, like a lot, phones are outdated in wakanda, shuri's better than you, slight black panther spoilers!, steve doesn't know any pop culture, this is my salvation from infinity war, tony is too old for this shit, t’challa and shuri are the squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14468595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borkybarnes/pseuds/borkybarnes
Summary: Peter Parker, your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man, takes on the Kingdom of Wakanda and all it has to offer.(Alternatively: Peter goes on a trip to Wakanda with the Avengers, is immediately befriended by Shuri, and is roasted by the Avengers 24/7)





	1. Chapter 1

Tony wasn’t sure whether or not it was a mistake to take Peter on a trip to Wakanda with the rest of the Avengers. 

As Peter got off the plane, chattering excitedly to an extremely patient Wanda, Natasha said, “He look like he took a dip in the pool.”

She really wasn’t lying. Peter’s hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat, and there were dark stains on his back. Tony sighed, putting his sunglasses on and shrugging. “Spider-ling is just a bit nervous. Nothing he won’t be able to shake off before meeting His Royal Highness and the rest of the family.”

Sam glanced out the window and laughed. “Get ready to eat your words, Stark.”

Tony stepped out of the plane to see Peter sprawled out on the ground at the feet of T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye. “Well,” he said, “that’s just fabulous.”

*

Peter woke up on a cloud. Granted, the bed wasn’t actually a cloud, but it was so soft that Peter was convinced it was made of cloud fluff. He sat up, back aching slightly, and turned his head. He immediately let out a shriek when he came face to face with Princess Shuri. 

She rolled her eyes, smiling still. “You’re the Spider-Man?”

“Uh… yeah, I… guess?”

Shuri stood up, pacing around. Peter climbed out of the bed, which he realized wasn’t a bed at all. Shuri watched his reaction and asked, “Was it comfortable?”

“What is it exactly?”

“Healing pod,” she said. “I was bored one day and I built it.”

Peter paused as his eyes widened. “Really? Jeez, the best thing I built when I was bored was the Lego Millenium Falcon.”

Shuri narrowed her eyes and tapped her chin, asking, “That’s Star Wars, right?”

“Yeah.” Peter nodded as he began to walk around. Shuri’s lap was clean and austere, no unnecessary details or decorations. There were prototypes of inventions and blueprints and schematics laid out on a large desk, and mannequins wearing various versions of T’Challa costume. Wanting to take a picture, Peter reached into his pocket only to find it empty. “Wait… wh-where’s my phone?”

He pat himself down, scrambling for his phone with groans of “May’s gonna kill me.”

Shuri watched him and laughed. “You mean this?” She walked to her desk and pulled out the cellphone from a drawer. “Your tech was hilariously outdated.”

“It’s not!” he protested weakly, feeling an embarrassed flush creep up his neck. Aunt May wasn’t the richest, so he wouldn’t be able to afford the newest phones.

Shuri seemed to read his mind and she shook her head. “I mean tech in general outside of Wakanda. It’s not just you! The whole world is far behind us.” She grinned and unlocked his phone, showing him it. “Plus, I took the liberty to add some new features to this, because what you had before was pitiful.” 

Shuri winked and jumped on the desk. “There’s a walk-through programmed onto it, so you won’t be completely lost.”

“Thanks…” Peter leaned against the large, wide column in the middle of the laboratory. “So, how long’ve you been doing… this?”

Shuri grinned, saying, “Since before I could remember.” There was a glint in her eyes as she asked, “Do you want to try on one of T’Challa’s suits? He has his own and I had a lot to spare.”

“S-seriously?” Peter’s heart raced as he tried to suppress the grin stretching across his face. “That’s so cool! Hell yeah, I want to try!”

Shuri snorted at his excitement, taking a necklace off of a mannequin and tossing it at Peter. He caught it, whispering, “This is so cool. Holy shit! This is so great! Oh god.” The suit shrunk slightly, adjusting to Peter’s body. He looked down at his hands, the claws sliding out of their sheaths in the fingers. Peter gaped. “No… no big deal! Just… just… being Black Panther! This is –– this is totally normal. Just a normal Friday afternoon.” He looked at Shuri and said, “I’m Black Panther!”

Shuri was doubled over, cackling at Peter. “You’re so happy!” She braced herself on her table, still laughing. “This is so sweet!”

Peter marveled at the suit –– it was insanely comfortable and looked badass. No wonder T’Challa liked it. “So, does this automatically give me all the Black Panther stuff, like insane speed and agility?” 

Shuri shook her head. “Those powers come from this herb that the Black Panthers drink.” Shuri’s deflated when she said, “But the majority of them were burned when Killmonger attacked.”

“Oh…” Peter shifted his weight, muttering, “Sorry about it.”

“It’s not your fault.” 

They were quiet for a moment before Tony came barreling down the stairs. “Okay, Princess,” he said, taking off his sunglasses dramatically. “Show me the tech.” Then, he looked at Peter and blinked slowly. “Is that T’Challa? I literally just saw him upstairs…”

“No!” Peter took off the mask. “Mr. Stark, it’s me! Peter!”

“Oh! Spider-ling!” Tony looked him up and down and asked, “You taking over for His Highness?”

“No, no! I was… uh… just trying on the suit…?” Peter, once again, had blush reaching the tips his ears. 

Tony snickered, “I’m going to go tell T’Challa that he has a new fanboy.”

Peter groaned, and Shuri laughed at his fully red face. “Peter, I’m afraid you need to exit. Her Majesty must tell me about her amazing creations.”

“O… okay.” Peter shuffled into the elevator, pressing the button for the main floor. When he arrived, he immediately dropped his jaw at the wonder that was the Wakandan palace — It was modern, sleek, and beautiful. 

He knocked into someone, and Peter yelped when he turned. A member of the Dora Milaje gazed back at him, stoic and unwavering. She asked, “Are you supposed to be here, boy?”

“He’s actually with me.” He almost had a heart attack when King T’Challa, Black Panther himself, was approaching. He smiled and stuck out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you finally, Mr. Parker.”

Peter stared at him for what felt like hours, slack jawed and terrified. What did you even say to royalty? How should you act? 

Peter got down on one knee quickly, to which T’Challa replied, “We don’t really do that anymore. It’s very outdated, but I understand why you thought we did that.”

His hand was still extending, and Peter was fast to shake it. T’Challa smiles and began to walk, saying, “Hurry, Mr. Parker. We have a lot a ground to cover before dinner. I assume you already were shown Shuri’s lab.”

Peter fell into step with him. “Yeah, that was so cool! I… uh… mean that it was sophisticated. Yeah…”

T’Challa laughed. “She’s the best and the brightest Wakanda has to offer. But, don’t tell her I said that.” He gave a conspiratorial smile. “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“Right! Your secrets safe with me.” Peter almost high fives himself for not spluttering and acting cool, even though he was chanting holy shit internally. 

He gasped at every part of the estate —— even the bathrooms. “Did that toilet just tell me to have a nice day?” Peter told himself, It sounded just like Karen.

“Indeed.” T’Challa checked his watch and said, “We must be getting to the grand dining room. We cannot be late for—”

“My king.” General Okoye rushed to him, one of her kimoyo beads displaying the layout of Wakanda. There was a red dot blinking, drawing closer to the city. Okoye looked at T’Challa and said, “Something has entered Wakanda.” 

T’Challa stares at the image, then out the window. Peter followed his gaze, able to make out a vague outline of a ship. “Are Wakanda ships invisible?”

T’Challa shook his head. “Some have the ability, but none look like that. General—” Okoye snapped to attention, “—alert the Avengers. Tell them that a fight is coming.”

*

Peter didn’t know why he expected anything else than Tony’s, “Peter. You stay here.”

“But Mr. Stark!” he protested. “I can help! You know, I can just swing by! Shoot webs and get out of there!” Peter was already suited up, though his mask was in hand. 

Steve, Bucky, and T’Challa were already charging out, Natasha and Wanda providing cover behind them. Peter watched Shuri race by him, gauntlets strapped on tightly. “But Shuri’s allowed to fight!”

Tony hesitated and sighed. “Persistent as always. Fine, Spider-boy. Do just as you said. Web ‘em up and get out. Just like when we fought Cap. Web and done. Got it?”

“Yes, sir, Mr. Stark!”

Peter darted out, shooting a web at an approaching enemy agent, slamming him down behind Peter. He latched onto a smaller pod producing more enemies, wrapping it in webs. 

On the ground, Shuri ducked an enemy’s punch, sending them flying with an energy blast. Peter, in the process of swinging and bind enemies, ran out of web fluid. 

He fell next to her and groaned, catching the small container Shuri flicked at him. “I made your webs. Only these are stronger, and they’ll last much longer. You’re welcome.”

“I was going to thank you,” Peter said as he attached the canister to his shoot. “So… thanks!”

Shuri laughed, rolling away from an enemy and firing energy again. Tony flew past with a shout, “Web and go, Spidey! No flirting!”

“I—I’m not flirting, Mr. Stark!”

“Good,” said Natasha, sliding by and kicking an enemy in the gut. “You’re terrible at it.”

Shuri nodded. “And it takes a lot more to impress me, Peter.”

“You’ve got no game!” Sam laughed, zooming overhead. 

“I’m always willing to teach you the art of wooing the ladies,” Tony said. “As long as your aunt is our test subject.”

“Mr. Stark!”

“Stop with all these distractions,” Okoye said, thumping the bottom of her spear on the ground, eyes narrowed and glinting with bloodlust. With a furious cry, she charged ahead and stabbed an enemy who was about to pounce on T’Challa.

Peter was so glad that Okoye was on their side.

“Shuri! Behind you!” T’Challa screamed, slashing his claws downwards to fend off his attacker.

Shuri turned her head but the enemy agent pinned her down. Peter heard her shout, slinging his web around a pod flying above and propelling himself towards her. Releasing the web, he stopped short and aimed a hard kick. The enemy agent sailed through the sky, crashing into the Wakandan barrier. 

Shuri stared at him and grinned. “Thanks.” Standing, she asked, “Do you know the extent of your strength?”

Peter looked down at himself, as if that would give him an answer, and shook his head. Shuri’s smile widened and she leaned closer. “After this is all over, can I run a few experiments on that enhanced strength of yours?”

“Uh… yeah, sure!”

“Stop the flirting! I’m too old to deal with this!” Tony whizzed by, shooting his repulsors at various agents.

“I’m not flirting!” Peter shouted, but Tony blasted off before he could react.

Peter groaned.

This team was going to be the death of him.


	2. Chapter 2

Peter didn’t have any injuries after the battle, which he wasn’t sure was a good or bad thing. Shuri seemed to believe that it was fantastic, since she was able to whisk him off to her labs.

“Use protection!” Tony called after them, grunting when Steve smacked him upside the head.

Peter rubbed his face as they went down in the elevator, entering Shuri’s impressive laboratory. She dragged him to her desk chair and said (more like ordered), “Stay right there.” 

She scurried off and Peter admired all her ingenious ideas. She was so young and Peter knew that she was just as smart as Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, two of the smartest people in the world. At her rate, she would surpass the two scientists. That was really saying something about Shuri’s intellect.

“Alright,” she said as she came back, a box of various materials in her arms. She set it down and took out a concrete slab, placing it on two tall cinder blocks. “Punch it.”

Peter obeyed, successfully breaking the slab and sending bits of concrete soaring across the lab. “Sorry–sorry! I’ll go clean it up.”

Shuri waved her hand and laughed. “You’re fine. I’ll use one of my robots to clean it later.”

Next, she had a sheet of titanium. Standing it up and having two robots hold it, she nodded. Peter pulled his fist back and punched the metal, a clean hole ripped in the sheet. Shuri nodded, taking out a notebook. The pages were filled with messy notes on every space of the paper. She flipped to a new page and scribbled down her observations. 

“Interesting,” she said, plopping down on her desk. “How’d you get this kind of strength?”

“I, uh, got bitten by a radioactive spider.”

Shuri nodded, taking it as if that was a normal occurrence. “Did you get any other abilities?”

“Enhanced agility, speed, reflexes, and senses. And, this, like, sixth sense that detects danger.”

She looked at the box of materials pensively. Then, she glanced up and smiled. She walked to one of the mannequins wearing T’Challa’s prototype suit, and pulled it over.

It stood right in front of Peter, and Shuri said, “Punch it as hard as you can.”

“W-won’t your brother be mad if something happens to the suit?”

Shuri rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Please, I made his suits. I should be madder than he is, and I’m the one telling you to punch it. Twice.”

“Okay…”

After his first punch, Shuri made an impressed sound. He reeled his arm back and shot it forward. One moment, his fist was connecting with the suit, and the next, he was thrown backwards. Sparks were flying from lamps, and Shuri’s desk was tipped over. The whole lab, while not decimated, looked like a tornado swept through. “Shit!” Peter stumbled to his feet, staring at Shuri intensely. “I can pay for all the broken stuff!”

He was almost one hundred percent sure that he couldn’t replace anything since all her equipment was high tech and met a specific need. 

Shuri simply shook her head and grinned. “Nice one! Jeez, you have to be powerful, huh?”

“What did I do?” Peter didn’t understand why she was so chill about this — he just trashed her lab.

“Well, the suits I designed T’Challa are meant to store all the kinetic energy from any blow he receives, and it will release it with the same amount of force.” Shuri looked around her lab and shrugged. “Guess I should’ve been smarter with that… oh, well.”

Her eyes lit up, and one of her kimoyo beads rolled into her palm, displaying a video. “You need to see this.” The mischievous smirk on her face was mildly concerning, but Peter pressed the ‘play’ button anyways. 

The video of the regal King T’Challa being thrown backwards after kicking the same suit made Peter laugh. Shuri, who had seen the footage a million times, cackled with him. 

“What happened in here?” T’Challa stepped out of the elevator before his eyes landed on the two teens. He groaned, “Shuri.”

“What?” She smiled innocently. “I’m just bonding with my new friend, brother. What’s so concerning?”

T’Challa pointed accusingly at the kimoyo bead. “That. That’s concerning. How many people have you shown that to?”

“Okoye, Nakia, M’Baku, Mother…”

T’Challa froze and asked, “You showed that to M’Baku and Nakia? Wait… when did you even become friends with M’Baku?”

“We hang out a lot. You just don’t know!” Shuri hopped off her desk, the kimoyo bead claiming its rightful place on the bracelet. “Nakia couldn’t stop giggling, and Okoye said, and I quote, ‘Wow… I may have to rethink the strength of our king’.”

“I think I just lost everybody’s respect.” While the words seemed serious, Peter noticed the way T’Challa tried to suppress his smile. 

Shuri snickered. “What if you never had it in the first place?”

T’Challa just grinned and pat her head. “I’ll take my leave, sister. Just stay safe. And no more viewing parties of that video.”

*

When T’Challa reached the ground floor, where the Avengers were, Tony was on the floor wheezing and cracking up. Sam was beside him, howling with laughter. “What is so funny?” T’Challa asked, approaching. 

Natasha sighed and showed him Tony’s phone, where a string of texts were displayed. They were all from Shuri, and the last one was that video.

T’Challa sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Tony braced himself on the arm of the couch, pulling himself up before falling back to the floor in a heap. Sam wiped the corner of his eyes and looked at T’Challa. “Did it hurt, King Kitty?”

“I’m not doing this.”

*

Shuri asked, “Can I test those heightened sense of yours?”

Peter’s eyes darted around, wary, but he nodded slowly anyways. Shuri set up the equipment, which included a speaker that had Peter’s heart racing. He trusted her. She wouldn’t hurt him on purpose… but what if it overwhelmed…?

Shuri stucked the speaker’s cord into a small white box. Then, she pressed turned a dial and pressed a button. The sound emitted was the worst thing Peter ever heard. It was high-pitched, screeching, and terrible. 

Peter yelped, feeling tears well in his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut and clamped his hands over his ears. The noise shut off, but his system was already overwhelmed. He could hear everything, even the pounding of hundreds of heartbeats miles away. He heard the noises of the crowds in Wakanda’s center and the argument between T’Challa and Tony — whose suit was more powerful? He could hear a mouse scampering across the forest floor ten miles away, the call of a bird outside of Wakanda’s barriers. 

He opened his eyes, and he could see all the threads in Shuri’s shirt, the finest wisps of her hair escaping her braids. When she reached out for him, he jolted back and tripped, landing hard. He could see the thinnest lines on her hands, feel the flaws in the marble floor he sat on. 

Peter was sobbing and hysterical. He couldn’t process anything but the sounds, the details, everything within a ten-mile radius. It was like there was a dam preventing any information from reaching his brain, but a waterfall of information. 

The noise stopped, but he still couldn’t think.

*

Shuri was the brightest person in Wakanda, and one of the most brilliant in the whole world. She designed the Black Panther suit and made a number of ingenious inventions. So, why? Why couldn’t she figure out how to help a fifteen-year-old boy who was bitten by a radioactive spider shivering on the floor, hands clamped over his ears?

She tried to touch his shoulder and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Get away from me!” he hissed, hitting her hand away with such force that Shuri thought her wrist got whiplash. He was curled in a ball, tears running down his cheeks. 

Guilt settled in her stomach. She did this. She made Peter like this. 

Shuri held her hand up, a kimoyo bead sliding onto her palm. Tony Stark picked up moments later. “What’s up, Princess?”

“Peter’s having a…” Shuri glanced at her friend, gnawing at her bottom lip. “He’s having a meltdown.”

Tony lost any bit of levity on his face and he said, “Okay. Turn off all the lights in your lab. Do you have noise cancelling headphones? Yeah? Good. Give him those, too. I’ll be down in a minute.” Tony hung up and Shuri crept to her desk drawer, finding her pair of headphones.

“Peter,” she called softly. He looked up, red eyed and still shaking. She held the headphones out to him, and he took them shakily, putting them on. 

He relaxed slightly, shoulders dropping. He uncurled. Tony, as promised, came down in the elevator. He held a Rubix cube, tossing it to Peter. He fiddled with it, working on solving it. Tony looked at Shuri. “What happened?”

Shuri didn’t mean to start to cry when she explained the situation. Tony rubbed her shoulder. “You didn’t know. Peter should have declined. You see, after he got bitten by the spider, his senses were heightened by, like, a hundredfold. The new senses resulted in a lot of sensory overload, and thus he has sensory meltdowns, of sorts.”

“I’m sorry,” Shuri said, still quiet. She glanced at Peter, who was close to finishing the cube. He met her gaze and smiled a little, ducking his head back down. Guilt still was tightly knotted in her stomach, and Shuri had no idea how she could make it up to him. 

*

Shuri didn’t talk to Peter for the next few days, still too ashamed of pushing him so far. Peter kept trying to engage with her, asking about her day and her inventions when he could. 

But she gave him curt, one-worded answers, and eventually he stopped asking. 

“What went on between you two?” T’Challa asked, entering her lab. Shuri ignored him, still sketching out a plan to build new gauntlets for herself. T’Challa knelt next to her seat, resting his arm on the desk. “You can’t block me out forever, Shuri.”

“Watch me.”

T’Challa grinned. “You talked to me.”

“Shut up.”

“What, are you reduced to two-word answers now?”

“Can you leave me alone, T’Challa?”

“Six.”

Shuri pointed to the elevator out of her lab, finally not responding. T’Challa frowned and said, “I’m not leaving.”

Shuri glared and turned her chair away from him. T’Challa poked her shoulder. She scowled and T’Challa poked it again. Again. Again. Shuri batted his finger away, pushing his arm off the desk. He stood up and repeated, “I’m not leaving.”

The elevator dinged, and the siblings turned to look at it. The doors opened, revealing Peter Parker. He smiled awkwardly (how else would he smile?) and waved. “Hey… am I interrupting something?”

“No, I was just leaving,” T’Challa said, winking at Shuri. She flipped him off as he stepped into the elevator.

The doors closed and Peter walked to her. “I, uh, got you something!” he said, handing her a messily wrapped box.

“Cool.” She took it and placed it in a drawer, turning her attention back to the screen.

Peter reopened the drawer and said, “Actually unwrap it. Please?” 

Shuri sighed and set the box in front of her, tugging one end of a ribbon and unravelling the sloppy bow. Hurriedly, she tore through the paper and opened the gift.

It was a photo — the one she and Peter took after the battle. 

There was a card too, which simply read:

Shuri — it’s not your fault. 

She looked up at him, stared at him for a moment, and he held out his arms. She launched herself into them, whispering, “I’m sorry.”

“Didn’t you read the card?” He laughed. “It’s not your fault, okay? Stop blaming yourself. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me for not telling you or the dumb spider that bit me.”

“I’m still sorry.”

Peter sighed. “It’s behind us. Don’t stress.” He released her from the hug and said, “I also came down here to pitch this great idea I had.”

“What is it?”

Shuri never saw Peter as sly or sneaky, but his smirk gave her a different impression now. 

“Pranks on all the Avengers.”

Shuri grinned, eyes widening. “Hell yes! I’m in.”


	3. Chapter 3

“What’re you two doing?” Peter and Shuri jumped when they heard T’Challa’s voice. He stood with his arms cross, waiting patiently for an answer.

“Nothing!” Peter answered. What would the King of Wakanda do if he found that they were doing something so childish?

Shuri rolled her eyes at Peter and said, “Pranks against the Avengers. You in?”

T’Challa, surprisingly, nodded. “It sounds quite entertaining. I can’t wait to see Sam’s face.” Shuri snorted at the devious sparkle in her brother’s eyes. 

Not to anybody’s surprise, T’Challa was an excellent strategist.

“Alright, children, listen up.” He smoothed the layout of the palace, little figurines of the Avengers sitting next to it. He slid an Iron Man figure onto the map. “Tony will be studying Wakandan ships at 11:30 AM today. Shuri.” She snapped to attention as T’Challa said, “Can you program the speakers in the hangar to let out an air horn sound every minute?”

“Of course,” scoffed Shuri. “Don’t underestimate me.”

“Alright.” T’Challa clapped his hands. “It’s 11:25 right now. Can you code right now, Shuri?”

She let out another sigh, mumbling, “You think too little of me.” She tapped a button on her desk, a hologram of the palace layout appearing. She swiped around, the layout out turning, and pressed on the hangar. It zoomed it, and Shuri brought up another tab, quickly typing in a code. It took her less than thirty seconds for the code to be approved, waiting for her to press the ‘go’ button flashing on the screen.

“Ooh, Mr. Stark’s early,” Peter said, pointing to the security footage T’Challa pulled up on a kimoyo bead. (Those beads could do everything. Peter reminded himself to ask if he could get some of his own). 

“Okay,” Shuri said, tapping the green command. A timer came on screen, counting back from sixty seconds. 

“This’s very impressive,” Tony remarked, examining one of ships. He touched it gently, soaking in every part of the Wakandan craft. 

“Thank you,” the engineer said, puffing out her chest proudly. “It’s a shame Princess Shuri couldn’t be here, though. She would be able to go into more de—”

The air horn blared, loud and obnoxious. Tony shot at least ten feet in the air. “What the hell?” he asked. “That a regular occurance?”

The engineer was unfazed. “No.” It wasn’t like this was the first time Shuri pulled this.

Shuri laughed minute after minute, as Tony’s patience and nerve waned. He got less and less scared each time, but more so annoyed. Peter, on the other hand, was sweating slightly. “Do you think Mr. Stark’s gonna be mad?”

“Probably,” Shuri said, shrugging. “I can talk all the heat from him if you’re too scared.”

“N… no, I’m fine.” In a whisper, he added, “I think.”

“I think we’ve irked Iron Man enough,” T’Challa said, reaching over his sister’s shoulder to disable the command. 

“That was pretty tame,” Shuri said, looking up and smirking at her brother. “Anything else you have planned? Because I have a good idea for Sam’s prank.”

“No idea is a bad idea, Shuri.”

*

Peter nearly fainted when T’Challa led a fully grown, male lion into Sam’s room. He was occupied playing video games with Shuri two floors down. “Where do you casually keep lions?”

“Separate from the rhinos,” T’Challa said, smiling sweetly. “Don’t worry. He only attacks who I order. Otherwise, he’s an oversized kitten.”

“I’m not worried! I’m the opposite of worried! I’m…” Peter’s eyebrows scrunched up. “I’m unworried!” 

“I’m sure,” T’Challa replied, stifling a snicker. He lifted the lion onto Sam’s bed, using the strength of the Black Panther. “Come now.” He pulled Peter over gently, nodding at the lion. “Stroke his mane. He likes it.”

“Um…” Peter gulped, extending his hand towards the animal. It eyed his hand, and when Peter made contact with the fur, he was sure the lion would bite it off. Instead, it huffed and rolled over on its back. It looked back up at Peter like a dog, and Peter rubbed its stomach.

T’Challa laughed. “I think he likes you.” 

“Really?” Peter couldn’t help but swell with pride. Validation from a ferocious beast felt nice. It must be what Thor’s friend (acquaintance?), Valkyrie, felt with the Hulk. 

T’Challa nodded as Shuri came into the doorway. “He’s coming in a minute.”

“Alright.” T’Challa ushered Peter out of the room, the door sliding closed behind them. They raced down to the lobby of the palace, sitting on the couch there as a kimoyo bead rolled into T’Challa’s palm.

It was an overhead view of Sam’s room with the lion, who Peter (internally) dubbed Ned. Ned (his human friend) would be pumped to know that Peter named a lion after him. 

“There he is,” said Shuri as the door to Sam’s room opened. 

“WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT?” Sam yelled, sprinting out of him room. When the door closed, Ned tilted its head and licked a paw. 

The bead moved back into T’Challa’s bracelet as Sam exited the elevator. “Dude!” He said, “There’s a goddamn lion in my room!”

“Oh?” T’Challa feigned shock, shaking his head at Shuri. “Did you let him roam free again?”

“Sorry, brother,” Shuri said. She looked at Sam. “Sorry. He likes to explore new people’s rooms.”

“Can you…” Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can you get it—”

“Him,” Peter corrected, earning a glare from the Falcon.

“—him out of my room?”

“Of course.” T’Challa stood. “Anything for a guest.”

Peter was shocked. If being royalty didn’t work out for them, T’Challa and Shuri had very promising careers in the entertainment industry.

*

“Captain is next?” Shuri asked as she looked at the list. Tony and Sam’s names were already crossed out.

“Next for what?” Steve walked towards them, finally clean shaven. He held a brown paper bag and a cup of coffee. The classic American packaging for a classic American.

“Oh!” Peter turned to him, grinning. “The lit squad time.”

Steve’s expression almost made Peter burst out laughing. Almost. Steve stared for a minute, asking, “What’s a ‘lit squad time’?”

 

“Oh, you know, a fire time.”

“What?”

The super soldier produced a familiar flaky treat from the bag. Peter playfully nudged Steve’s chest, unbalancing him just as he’d been about to take a bite. Steve squawked and cradled the pastry to his chest. “Stop it! I could’ve dropped my croissant!”

Peter and Shuri were both immediately on the ground, clutching their chests and wheezing with laughter. “You–you–” Shuri gasped out. “You know pop culture?”

“No,” Steve said, a completely bewildered look on his face. “What did I say?”

“Oh my God!” Shuri leaned against Peter as she laughed. “He really doesn’t know?”

T’Challa, for as “cool” as he claimed to be, was just as confused. “What did he say? He just said he could’ve dropped his croissant, that he paid good money for it!”

Shuri wheezed, doubling over again. Steve gave a mildly offended look and said, “Making fun of people isn’t polite.”

“Oh, please!” Shuri stood up, still giggling. “Don’t be such a salty snowflake.”

T’Challa asked, “How can a snowflake be salty?”

“We lost your brother,” Peter said, snorting. “I thought he would’ve known it. Pretty sus, if you ask me.”

“Hey, hey,” Shuri said. “At least their keeping it one-hundred, fam.”

“Peter isn’t your brother,” said Steve. “Why’re you calling him ‘fam’?”

“Because Shuri’s a savage,” Peter replied, unable to stop chuckling.

T’Challa’s brows furrowed. “That’s a very outdated and offensive way to think about Wakandans.”

“He didn’t mean it like that, brother,” Shuri said. “I’m honestly so done with you two.” Shuri grabbed Peter’s arm, dragging him down the hall with a yell of, “Bye, Felicia!”

As they left, Steve looked at T’Challa. “What was that all about? And who’s Felicia?”

“How would I know?” T’Challa added, “Don’t snap your cap.”

Steve perked up immediately as T’Challa followed the two teenagers down the corridor. “Hey! I know that one!”

*

“Natasha’s next,” Shuri said. “All you need to do is jump on her and scare her.”

“Yeah…” Peter swallowed the knot in his throat. He was legitimately scared to try and surprise Natasha, who probably knew eight different ways to kill somebody with a tissue. Nervously, he raked a hand through his hair.

To any outsider, they looked like three people having a casual conversation. Natasha passed them, giving them a smile as she continued down. T’Challa peered around the corner and nodded at Peter, who quietly began to pad down the hallway.

He was close enough to her. As he prepared to launch himself on top of her, Natasha turned and grabbed his wrist. She threw him over her shoulder, keeping him down with a heeled boot. “Next time,” she said, “don’t breathe so loudly.”

*

“So, Natasha’s didn’t go as planned,” Shuri said, crossing the redhead’s name off the list. “We’ve targeted Wilson, Stark, Rogers, Natasha… we have Barnes and Wanda left.”

“Let’s do Wanda next,” said Peter, holding an ice pack to his shoulder. “I don’t want any bruises from metal hands on me.”

“Alright. Brother,” Shuri said, “do you have the blue dye?”

T’Challa nodded. “It’s in my room, ready to go.”

“Is this going too far?” Peter asked. He liked Wanda… he didn’t want this to be too mean… 

“I’m sure. It’ll only be a portion of her clothes, and the dye washes out after a couple of rounds in the washing machine.”

“Good.” Peter sighed, mumbling, “I’m really not looking forward to Bucky’s.”

“We’ll deal that when we get there. For now… T’Challa, go get the dye. I’ll dump it in Wanda’s washing machine.”

“On it,” T’Challa said, rushing away. Peter rocked back and forth on his heels, and Shuri’s kimoyo bead projected a video.

She grinned. “Want to watch those two old men be confused about pop culture again?”

“Of course!”

When they finished the replay, T’Challa returned and handed the bottle of organic dye to Shuri. She gave Peter and T’Challa a two-fingered salute and jogged off. They waited for a few minutes, making small talk about the country and Ned the Lion. 

Shuri returned, a fake serious look on her face. “It’s done.”

Later that day, after Wanda did her laundry, she came to dinner with a very sour expression. “What’s wrong?” Steve asked.

Wanda sat down in her chair, scowling. “All my clothes are blue except for what I’m wearing. My aesthetic is ruined.”

“Lots of weird things have been happening in Wakanda,” Sam said, leaning back in his chair. “Do you know anything, King Cat?”

“No,” T’Challa said. “And I’m mildly offended that you came into my kingdom and accuse me of such frivolous behavior.”

“Starting to sound like Point Break,” said Tony, taking a long drink of whiskey.

Bucky hummed. “Nothing’s happened to me yet, so I can count myself lucky, I guess.”

Shuri whispered to Peter, “nothing’s happened… yet.” 

*

Maybe they should have known better than to prank the fully reformed but nonetheless traumatized Winter Soldier.

“Just gonna web up his arm, right?” Peter asked, bouncing on his toes anxiously. 

“That’s the best I could come up with. He’s the last one,” said Shuri. “And here’s the man of the hour.”

Bucky strolled down the hall, by himself, eating a plum. Peter took comfort in the fact that he was enjoying some fruit before they committed their last act. Peter prepared his web shooters, aimed, and…

Bucky was quick. Way too quick. He used his metal hand to grab the web, pulling it and dragging Peter. He hurled Peter down the length of the hallway.

Peter groaned as he crashed onto the floor and felt his ribs snap. He knew pranking the Winter Soldier was a very bad idea.

Bucky was breathing hard, sweating slightly. Now, Peter absolutely knew that it didn’t take Bucky much effort. There was something else bothering Bucky, something else making him look so paranoid.

“Shit,” Bucky said. “I’m… shit… I’m so sorry! But… why did you… why did you do that?” Bucky was surprisingly calm, but there was an edge to his voice. 

“It was just a prank, bro,” Peter managed along with a breathy laugh.

Bucky scoffed, expression softening. He knelt down. “Are… are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah… I’m fine.” At Shuri’s glare, Peter admitted, “I… uh… think you broke my ribs…” 

Shuri paled.

“Shit,” Bucky hissed. Gently, he picked up Peter as if he weighed nothing. 

“Come.” Shuri’s voice was quiet but urgent. “There are healing pods down in my lab. Let’s go.”

They hurried to the elevators, going down to the laboratory. Shuri opened the lid, and Bucky placed Peter carefully on the mattress. The pod closed, and Peter took deep breaths to try and quell his pain and nerves. Small, confined spaced weren’t his forte.

Shuri pressed a few buttons, entered a command, and the mattress glowed a warm yellow. The pain subsided swiftly, and within a minute, it was gone completely. Peter emerged, lifting his shirt and touching the skin over his ribs. Nothing hurt, and there wasn’t any bruising.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said, sitting down in a stray chair. He pushed his hair back and huffed. “My reflexes are just… really quick… and I’ve been taught to not hesitate…”

“It’s fine, dude,” Peter said, smiling crookedly. “It was my fault—”

“Our,” Shuri said. T’Challa nodded in agreement.

“—Our fault for pranking you,” finished Peter. “Should’ve known.”

“Peter actually said it was a bad idea,” Shuri added.

Bucky smiled slightly. “Smart kid.” He paused and said, “Can we… just forget about this? And not tell Tony? He’ll kill me if he knew I did that to you.”

“Yeah, sure.” Peter grinned. “It’s gonna be a lit time, right, Bucky?”

Bucky smirked. “Yeah. Pretty turnt.”

Shuri gaped and clapped her hands. “That’s right, fam!”

T’Challa sighed. “I’m still so confused.”


End file.
